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Library: warning, part 1


Author: Lum
Date:Apr 7 1998

Warning!  You have been warned.

  Once a drunk friend showed me his photo album.  "That's my girlfriend...
This is my old house..., etc."
  "But Duncan", I asked, "This girl.  She's got red eyes.  Look at that."
  "Oh, just kinda ignore that.", he told me, and went on to talk about how old
the picture was, and how that was commen in "flash" photography.
  "And this one.  This huge hole in the wall.", I asked.  Maybe I'm just great
at finding things wrong.
  "Oh, that.  My dinasaur rammed it."
  Knowing he's strange yet seemingly normal when drunk, I just ignored that
last comment.  "Dinasaur?"
  "Yeah, dinasaur.  You know, big monster, ye tall, ..."  I ignored the rest.
  "You shouldn't drink so often.  Bad for ya.", I told him.
  "Yeah, I know.", he admitted.  "But what am I to do?  How come you don't
use?"  He meant use drugs, like on a regular basis.
  "Sorrey, the allure of drugs just doesn't-"  He interupted me.
  "Aaaah!  Don't say that!  I hate that!"
  "Hate what?  Drugs?", I asked him to clarify.
  "No!  Allure!  Allure!  I hate it!  Away!  Keep it away from me!"
  I shook my head.  There's no reasoning with a drunk, especially not this
  "Allure?", I asked.  He was noticably uncomfortable, beginning to yank at
his long hair.
  "Allure!  It's a type of... umm... girl.  Girl type, they call it."
  "You lost me.", I told him.  "You mean, like this girl?", I asked, pointing
to the picture of his girlfriend."
  "No!  It's like this.", he replied, taking a deep breath.  "It's a girl
type.  A girl type!  But it's not a girl."  I just shook my head.
  "Okay, why do you hate them so much?  Hmm?", I asked, trying to change the
  "B'cos it... it killed my dinasaur."  He's definately had too much, I
remember thinking.
  There was an uncomfortable pause.  I didn't have anything to say, so I
thought for a while, trying to come up with something.
  We'll, he was drunk.  Too much anyway.  "Nah, Duncan, you know that's not
true.  Who killed your dinasaur?  You did!  You did by drinking too fucking
much!", I yelled at him.
  "I did?  I did?", he asked, looking quite upset.  He took another drink and
started, we'll, you could tell he was on the verge of crying.
  "Yeah!  If you hadn't become an alcoholic, your dinasaur would still be
alive!", I yelled at him, trying to break him down.
  He started to cry and throw a tantrum, I left thinking hey, he's drunk. 
There's no understanding him.

  After that, I had this talk with my kid.
  "Mommy, what was all that noise last night?", she asked.  I'm a sound
sleeper, most of  the time, so noise doesn't wake me.
  "I don't know.  What-"
  She told me it was coming from the neighbors (Duncan) house, and sounded
like clanking or hammering.  But in the middle of the night.  
  "Dear", I explained, "We just moved.  I'm not moving again.  If you hear it
again, wake me up.  Just don't jump on me."  She agreed.

So later that night, I was awakened by my kid jumping on me, and there was a
quiet, we'll maybe not that quiet, but quiet clanking noise.  So I changed and
told her to stay inside, while I went outside and looked for whatever animal
was making it.  I get outside and look around in the front, but no, its
definately coming from behind the house, so I check the backyard.  It was
coming from the neighbor, just as I thought.
  So I peek over the fence and see a guy hammering spoles into the ground. 
"Hey!  Fucking noise, stop it!  It's night, Duncan.", I told him.  I wonder
what he was trying to do.
  "Umm... the middle of night?  Oops, sorrey, didn't notice...", he replied. 
He's gotta be on something.
  "What... what the fuck are you trying to do?", I asked.  I've gotta hear the
excuse for this.
  "I'm... I'm adding a barn.  Adding a barn onto my house."
  A little strange, I remember thinking.  But then people tend to do whatever
they want and come up with some convinient reason later, not the other way
  "A barn.  For what?  Chickens?"
  "No!  I'm thinking... I'm thinking of getting another dinasaur.  Maybe a-"
  "What?!"  He seemed serious enough.  Whenever he gets serious, he talks
really slowly, with a lot of pauses, like he has been.
  "You know, a, we'll, nevermind."
  "Just work doing the day.  The neighborhood has to sleep, its night."
  "Okay", he obliged, and went back inside.
  So I came back in and told her it should stop.

  I won't go there just yet.  My life proceeded more or less normally.  I'll
get there eventually.  The thing that confounds me is "how can this place
exist."  I mean, the society.  Something based on strength and dominance. 
With that comes competition, and hence fear.  But yet, death is rare and the
society survives.  That's got to be it.  Without people killing each other, or
as long as they don't kill each other, and are happy just to "play" with each
other the society will survive.  The parts in which people do kill each other
off in large number, those parts disappear.  That's how a society based on
strength can survive. For that reason, I think there's a chance that it could
be true, ie. at least feasible.  Or it could have more to do with this, with
what I'm talking about right here.

  The strange neighbor eventually moved away, and just as he was about to
finish his shed.  It was shoddily built, the people who bought the house had
it tear it down.  They asked me if I knew anything about the guy, but I told
them nah, he was just a resident wierdo.

  I came home about a month after that and had a strange message on my
machine.  My friend Mika told me that some really wierd girl was looking for
me, probably had it out for me, so to be careful.  And that she'd be gone all
through this week.
  And I was eating dinner, I got another call from a man.  I talked to him for
a while, about specifics and such, but later.  My kid asked me if he was a
"boyfriend", but I told her no, he's just some sorrey detective who wasn't
very bright and begged me for help.  B'cos he couldn't solve his cases on his
  The guy showed me that there had been some kind of murder, victim was
decapitated.  Some pretty gory pictures, I couldn't eat for about a day after
that.  He had one witness who said he saw the guy get killed by a pink
dinasaur, with wings.  So they liked the witness as the prime suspect.  But,
he passed a polygraph test "with blazing colours", even when he talked about
what the dinasaur.  So I asked him if the guys name was "Duncan", and he asked
me how I knew.
  "He's a druggie.", I explained.  "If yer spaced out on drugs enough, maybe
you can fool the lie-detector.  It's not infallible to begin with anyways."
  "Yeah, that's why I like him", admitted the officer.  But he explained his
troubles with "pinning" the case on this guy, no weapon, no evidence,
everything else about the victim points to "something else."  He explained the
gory details, the guy wasn't decapited in one shot, and there were bite marks
all over.  They found pieces of brain and skull bits lying around the scene,
which meant his head was probably completely crushed before or after it was
removed.  When I see/hear sick things, I just don't eat for about a day and
I'm fine, it doesn't irk or bug me too much.  Maybe the not eating this is
just a habit from when my parents died, I don't know.
  Its kind-of a statement as to how bad the government is when it has to call
in people like me to solve its murders.  I talked with Duncan, in his cell. 
"I remember you, you're that annoying neighbor I had.", he asserted.
  "You too."  I didn't ask him anything at first.  "Why'd you come forward
with the information you had?"  That's a good thing to ask.
  "Rememeber my shed?  I tried to build a good shed but couldn't.  So I moved
out to the country, you know, maybe a more quiet enviro-"
  I ordered him to get to the point.
  "Okay, okay.  I felt guilty.  It was my monster, my dinasaur that had
escaped.  And it killed that man.  I tried to stop it!  I really did!", he
said. Here we go again.
  "What are you on?", I demaned.  The cop explained to him the seriousness of
the situation, etc., someone had died here and they don't know who did it.  I
don't think Duncan "got" it.
  "Look.  Keep you fucking delusions to yourself.  Something killed this man. 
You said you saw it happen."  He nodded.
  The cop asked him, we'll, maybe it was just killed by an animal.  Like a
tiger or something.
  "Nah!  This is different than that!  Definately not a Tiger.  This was my
  Hmm.  "If it was yours, what was its name?", I asked.  He quickly blurted
out, "Sherry, it's name was Sherry."
  I turned to the cop and told him nope, not much I can do here.  He explained
that he'd followed up the leads on the guy and his personal life, but couldn't
find anything.  The cop said he felt sorrey for me, since I used to have this
guy as my neighbor, but that's all.  He was in his usual bad mood when he
realized the case was just unsolvable.

  It's still kind-of enigmatic to write all this down.  It doesn't make any
sense at all, I just hope I'm looking at it correctly.  I just act and think
the way I feel, I don't spend time with complex theories.  I think I
understand most things well, anyways.

  Everything was fine, really.  Once I was at a late-night party, with my
friend Mika.  She told me this wierd punk girl that she had said was looking
for me before threw a fit when she figured out Mika was a friend of mine (and
was hiding that from her).  Normally, this isn't a "party topic", but Mika
pointed out the girl to me, at the party.  She was totally drunk, almost
passed out.
  After asking around a bit, no one knew her, and when a guy had tried to ask
her out, he said she bit him.  He showed me the marks from her teeth on his
arm (ouch!).  The girl eventually sat down and began to doze off, and she was
talking wierd.  "You sure that's her?!", I asked Mika.
  "Yeah, she tried to attack me."
  So let's assume she's hostile and got it in for us, okay?, I told Mika.  And
that means we should grab her right here right now and drag her off.  She's
weak now.  Take advantage of weakness in enemies, and she agreed.
  So Mika and I got the girl out of there, no one seemed very irked by it, and
"escort" her back to my place, lock her in the bathroom.  She'd throw up or
fall asleep eventually, and when she came to we'd figure out what was up.  I
remember talking about the "punk generation" with Mika and that I just didn't
understand the superficiality (looks) aspect of it all. Not that girls should
be feminine, but just be yourself, you can't model yourself after someone else
or a different person.  It's just like designer clothing, ugh.
  I remember going back into my bathroom in about an hour and seeing the girl
kicking, just generally destroying the place.
  I told her "You wanted to find me.  You found me.  Happy?"
  But she didn't seem to be paying much attention to me.  She was just
horribly drunk, totally out of it.
 Figuring it was probably going to take all night for it to wear off, I moved
her to a different room and went to sleep.
  The next day I wake up, and hear Mika harassing the punk girl.  She's
cussing in japanesse, mostly incoherently, and saying an occasionally thing
about revenge.  Her and the punk girl are fighting and arguing.  I ask my kid
how she (Mika) got in, Annie tells me that she spent the night here.  And that
she'd just started to fight with the punk girl.
Mika had her hands on the girls throat, I remember yanking them apart and then
pinning the girl.  She was yelling, but mostly jibberish in a language I
didn't know.  French perhaps.
  So I struggled with her and then turned to talk to Mika.  Mika explained she
seems rather strong but didn't say a whole lot.  I turned her over on her
chest and held her there with Mika's help.  She wouldn't answer either of us,
so I figured it was pointless.  I explianed to Mika that I felt something was
wierd here, but I didn't know what.  Mostly, it was guys, girls tend to stay
out of other's people's business, so why does this girl get so hostile.
  I just remember moving the girl back to my bathroom (I didn't want her
messing up my floor) and then leaving her there a while.  I explained to Mika
there's not much we can do, just show her not to mess with you and then let
her go.  Mika commented this girl didn't look like an ordinary "punk", if
there is such a thing, but that she'd had enough anyways, so she didn't want
to do anything else to her.  So I kicked her out of my house and went
shopping, forgot about it.

  When I finish shopping and get back to my house, that punk is sitting down
outside.  When she saw me she hopped up and stayed away from Mika and I, but
she was still watching us.  What a nuisance, I thought, how do these people
get "latched" onto me.  "What?!", I demanded, in just about every language I
know, but she just pointed at me.  She gave Mika and I a wide berth as I went
into my house.  Before Mika left, I asked her what kind of person gets totally
messed up and comes back for more.  Must be some kind of masochistic thing,
and she agreed.
  Anyways, that girl sat down in front of my house and just sat there, intent
on staring off in the distance.  I tried to confront her, asked her "what's
your problem", and she just gave me the same wide berth, and seemed intent. 
There's definately something strange going on here, I thought, going back into
my house.  20 minutes later I checked back outside and the punk girl was gone,
no sign of her. So I went back inside to cook some.

  On Oct 30/31st, I had a new years party at my place.  I came back out and I
noticed that punk girl - same one, standing around as if she was part of it. 
Even though it was a new years' party, her punk hairstyle did make her stand
  I remember confronting her, demanding what she was doing there (here).   But
she just ignored me.
  "Piiki", I ask, "what do you think of this girl?"  Piiki just nodded and
said "Ii na" (She's okay, she's fine) and  didn't seem to care very much.  So
I let her stay, figuring I'd deal with her afterwards.

  I remember considering that she could be one of my kids friends, I was a
little worried about Annie, but there was no way, she was too old.  So I
thought this:  We beat her up badly, why does she come back?  Revenge?  It
maks no sense, something's wrong.  Mika has no idea either.
  "Hey!  Why'd you come back!", I remember yelling at her in japanesse.  She
didn't respond.
  In a conversation I had with Mika:  Mika said perhaps she's a "tomboy"
(utenpa), look at her.  
  "No, she's too 'pretty' to be a tomboyish punk, I think she's just a
self-preoccupied girl (narcistic?).
  So I explained it like this (to Mika), she tries to be a tough punk girl,
but at the same time she's really subservient.  She tries to look pretty, she
wants to be (abused/used/submissive) (hard to translate).
  Mika agreed, but said her or I don't really know anything specific about
her, so-
  (There's no way I'm putting in the rest of this conversation, don't even

  I waited until the party was over and most of the people had left.  She has
a lot of patience, if nothing else.
Afterwords, I bugged her again, but she didn't offer any response.  ~n
  "Why'd you come back?  You want more?", I remember asking. 
"How come you talk to others and not me!", I demanded of her.  She was so
quiet toward me, she didn't talk back.
  Just as I'm about to do something drastic, I hear a knock at my door.  So I
open it. It's that Duncan guy again, so I think shit, should have checked
first.  He barges in.  He tells me I've gotta let him into his former
backyard.   "Why?!", I demanded.
  "My peach.  I've been looking all over for it, but can't find it.  I need
that peach."
  I remember explaining to him it wasn't worth it, if you want a peach you can
go down to the store and buy one, in the "produce" section.  But he was
insistent.  And I didn't smell any alcohol in his breath.  So I thought --
this guy's deep, this guy's in real deep.  He's dead serious.
  "Why does it have to be this peach?!  Won't any peach do?"
  He was absolutely insistent.  So I finally told him "fine, go into my yard
and jump the fence.  But if you get caught I'm not standing up for ya."  And
he did.  I watched the punk girl carefully, but let her be and sit there.  I
didn't want multiple problems at once.  Duncan came back, holding a rather
ordinary peach.
  "Whew, I found it.", he insisted. My kid had started trying to feed the punk
girl some grapes, but she was shaking her head and going "nn nn!", as if she
doesn't want any.  But the Duncan guy flipped out.  He pointed at the punk
girl and yelled and started shrieking.  I remember trying to slap him out of
it a few times but he turned and ran into my backyard and tried to jump the
fence, but I yanked him down and then demanded what's going on?  Do you know
that punk girl?
  He was absolutely hysterical.  I've never seen a guy this hysterical. Seeing
that punk girl made him piss in his pants even, there's got to be something
here.  "Ex-lover?  What is that girl to you, Duncan?", I demanded. I was
rather curious myself. What kind of thing makes a guy do this, we'll this
isn't an ordinary guy either.
  I was ready to grab him up and escort him back through my house, but he
insisted I not.  "No!"
  So I demanded again, "What!  What's going on here!"
  He calmed down a little, recovering slightly form his initial state of
panic.  "That's a girl type, quite definately, it's a girl type."  He was
rambling again.
  "A what?!  That's just a rather ordinary punk girl.  What's you're releation
to her?"
  I don't remember his exact words, but he said something like "She's a
girl... a girl type, a monster!  Like the kind that killed my dinasaur,
originally!"  I slapped him across the face.
  "Girls aren't monsters.  Maybe to someone like you they are.  Don't give me
that fucking shit."  He went back to being panicked.  I tried to force him to
answer again.
  "I've had it with you.", I admitted.  I kicked him a few times and left him
lying there, locking the door as I walked inside.  
  As I watched the punk girl I got an idea.  Yes, I thought happilly.  I went
straight back outside and tried to tug Duncan inside, Mika came out to help me
and we restrained him.  All I remember is my kid watching anxiously, and the
punk girl pointing (at him?) and laughing.  We dragged him into the bathroom
and then threw him in there.  He was berserk but we locked him in.
  Next I had to get the punk girl to follow me.  She didn't seem to want to
move.  I remember convincing her by telling her "Don't you want to hurt that
boy?  He doesn't like you."  She just replied by going "Nnn" and then followed
me to the bathroom.  I opened it up and she charged in, bumping into Duncan. 
I quickly closed and locked the door before either one of them could escape. 
"Okay.  That ought to do it.", I admitted to the rest.
  It was dead silent for a few seconds, and then next thing I know my house
was shaking like when we had that big earthquake.  Mika admitted one of them
was probably taking a real beating.  This went on for a short time, and then I
heard more yelling.
  It was mostly Duncan doing the yelling.  Then it went back to being quiet. 
"I've got to see this", I remember thinking to myself.
  So I went back over there and unlocked the door, opened it up enough to
peek.  The girl was sitting over Duncan, pinning him to the ground.  She
kissed him as I opened the door.  I remember thinking is this some kind of
wierd sex thing?  I hope not.  I closed the door again, and locked it back.
  Mika asked me what was going on, I expained the girl was sitting over him
and had kissed him once.  I think she just shrugged.

  There was some more banging everyone once in a while.  I was bored, so I
went into my room to read.  About half an hour later, I came back out and
asked Mika.  She said that they were still "going at it" in there, so I went
back to look.  Neither seemed to notice when I opened the door and looked in.
  I remember thinking "what an usual scene".  They both looked a bit fatigued.
 She was sitting right over his chest, holding her arms up in the air.  But
this wasn't a 'sex' thing.  She quickly took her hands and placed them on the
side of his face, and then pried his eyes open and slapped him a few times. 
Then she stood back, letting Duncan get up.  Seeing the door was open, Duncan
quickly ran for the door, but I pushed him back.  He was too fatigued to put
up much of a fight, the girl did this wierd (showy?) half-spin kick that
knocked him aside.  After this, she turned him over and jumped on his chest
again.  After that, I remember just closing the door, re-locking it, and
walking away, figuring I'd just let them do their thing.
They could do it all night if they wanted.  Mika looked at me as if to ask
"what's going on?", so I told her that they were doing the same thing over and
over again, it must be some kind of wierd play.  
  I remember thinking hmm, something's strange here.  Who could take that much
continuos punishment.  Duncan must be being repeatedly thrown into walls,
kicked around, etc.  But he was still standing once she gave him the
opportunity.  But I shrugged it off and just didn't worrey about it.  Who
cares, I thought again, just let them do what they please.
  It eventually quieted back down and became all silent.  Hmm, maybe one of
them died, I hoped.  But I opened up the door and they were simply sitting
there staring at each other.  Just staring, eyes locked.  Neither seemed to
notice me.  I was more instrested in how they both stay in such good shape, I
mean again, with all that banging around neither looks very hurt.  
  I remember telling them something like "Ah, what a nice couple.  C'mon,
you've done enough messing around in my bathroom, look at how you messed the
place up.  Now go outside and play there.  You can go shopping or something." 
I noticed something alarming, but I just wanted to get them outside my house. 
So I quickly escorted them outside and they didn't seem to fight it, as soon
as they got outside Duncan bolted and the punk girl chased right after him.  I
took a deep breath and headed back to the bathroom.  
  "Mika, look at this for instance.  That's gotta be blood, but the colour is
off."  Mika would just shrug.  "Look, these have to be claw marks.  And what's
this?"  Mika had no idea.
  Anyways, I called up the guy I knew at the police department and asked if he
could send a forensics specialist down to my house.  They at least like to
pretend like they know something, he said he'd send down a guy immediately. 
It was already late, Mika went home and the guy showed up about an hour later.
 The guy that showed up was an older guy in messy clothing, I showed him over
to my bathroom and said "this, this, and this stain.  And than this bit of
hair."  The The guy seemed profoundly interested.  I told him to do whatever
he needed to, I don't care, it's not like I even "own" this house.  He
chiseled off some of the wall and put it into little plastic baggies, and put
the hair in also, and then left.

  In the morning I got a call from that cop, he said his friend from the lab
doesn't know, doesn't match up with anything he'd ever seen before.  But that
it would be about a week before DNA tests, and anything conclusive came up. 
It was just a curiousity for me, so I didn't worrey about it much.

  Later on the week, the guy called me up again.  He said "Miss, the DNA tests
on your sample are abnormal, its definately not ordinary blood or hair.  The
lab's not equipped for this type of meteriel, so I can't tell you any more." 
I told him okay, don't send it on, just get rid of it, and he obliged.  He
said something like he wasn't thinking of "sending it on" anyways, too much

  So one month after this I was in the city library, researching something
that's beside the point.  There that guy is again, the Duncan guy.  I remember
he saw me, it was too late.  He was going through magazines, he had a pile
full of magazines.  I just covered my eyes, Oh no I thought.  Not this again,
I thought no one did this over there.
  "Who are you trying to get back at now...", I asked him (it's a library, no
yelling).  I looked at the magazine cards he was filling out and didn't
recognize the name, don't even remember what it was, all I remember is it was
a guy's name.  I remember just pressing him as to what was going on, who was
he trying to get back at?  He was tight-lipped at first, but then took me into
a back room and said it was someone from the "AMA" (this is "American Medical
Association"?) and that they were "giving him some trouble".  Why?, I asked. 
You don't like them?
  This whole conversation was wierd.  "No, I'm fine with them.  They don't
like me.  They don't like what I'm doing."  I was curious about this, so I was
nice to him.  "How could someone not like you?  Whatsit that you're doing", I
asked him in some nice way like this.  He said "The NRA, err..." (NRA is
"National Rifle Association, ie. the guy lobby) "they've been using... girl,
girl types for quite some time now, but only for combat, only for fighting. 
So I thought, what about using a girl type for healing, restoration rather
than... fighting.  But-"  I stopped him.  Whoa, I told him, what are we
talking about here.  NRA?  Fighting?  Girls?  He shook his head.  I wanted to
hear the delusion.  I told him, okay, just go on, tell me the whole thing. 
And he continued.  "Okay,
so I start, remember that one time at your house?  I take... I take that girl
type to-"
  "That was a girl, Duncan, why do you keep calling girls 'girl types'.  Just
go on.", I remember interupting.
  "Take her to a hospital, and into the waiting room.  Into the room where
sick people wait for treatment.  People were moaning, hurting, but nothing so
serious... the girl type... she went around and touched the ones she could. 
More than half got better and walked out."
  "Really.", I asked him.  "That's how it (happened)", he insisted.  
  I didn't believe him for a second.  But something here was still strange. 
"Why do you keep calling girls 'girl type'.  Do you mean 'girl type punks' or
something like that?  Like that red-haired girl?  The one you were afraid of
  He insisted he wasn't afraid of her anymore.
  "You two made up?", I asked.  But he said something like "It's not that,
it's not like that at all."  
  Now I knew something here was still wierd.  Not relying on the guys
delusions at all, I know that the results from the lab on that girl were
"inconclusive", and that alone means something must be wierd, perhaps.
  "But when you say 'girl type', what do you mean?", I asked him again.  He
seemed pressed, as if he was trying to stay calm.  Looking over his shoulder
and all.  
  "She's human, right?", I demanded.  I knew about the lab results, so I had
to press him.
  Duncan took a deep breath.  "She's a girl type.  She looks human, but she's
not.  I've taken it to myself... taken it to myself to raise her.  She's a
good fighter, but I don't... agree with the NRA about using... especially
using girl types for combat.  I want to use her for her restoration abilities,
that's all."  I just remember quietly listening to him so I could remember
what he said.  
  "And that's how you got into trouble with the AMA?", I asked.  When talking
with delusional people, its best to at least pretend you believe.
  "If suddenly 60% of all patients... or more... got well, a lot of doctors
would be out of a job.  They have... have their own job security to worrey
about.", he blurted out.  
  "And the NRA?", I demanded.  I can't stand the NRA, but I don't see what it
has to do with him and his girlfriend, and his delusions about her.
  "The NRA only sees it... the NRA is so high on combat and fighting that they
don't see any other... purpose, even with girl types."  I shrugged.  He
sounded so coherent.
  "So what do... you think?", I asked Duncan.  I thought for a while.
  "It's a shame that you have to carry around all these delusions with you,
just so you can justify loving someone.  Just so you can justify having a
stable relationship with a girl."
  Duncan demanded "What do you mean?", a little perturbed that I didn't
believe him.
  "First, all this stuff about 'girl types' not being human.  Just b'cos you
don't understand something doesn't mean it isn't human.  Then, the NRA.  The
NRA has nothing to do with girls.  NRA is a bunch of men born with guns
instead of dicks, who like nothing more than walking around with their pants
down, waving around their toys. Next we'll where shall I begin.  How many
hoops do you have to jump through just to justify liking or loving another
human being."
  He just shook his head at me.  "You don't understand!", he told me.  "You
really don't!  It's not that... at all!  I just ignored him and walked off.