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Library: The Day the Jell-O Died

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Author: szilard
Date:Mar 7 2003

It was a day like most others in the realm. The sun rises, the sun sets. It 
rains. But there was something different about this day...

It would be a day of great adventure.

                 *******

         THE DAY THE JELL-O DIED
              A Bardly Tale
by Szilard Timberlake the honorable Drow Bard,
       Squire of the Fnordian Order

                 *******

I close my eyes and concentrate, then open them wide, realizing that I know
the 
campfire tune by heart. I open my mouth and the warm tones flow:

   What Child is this, who laid to rest 
   On Mary's lap is sleeping, 
   Whom angels greet with anthems sweet 
   While shepherds watch are keeping? 
   This, this is Christ the King, 
   Whom shepherds watch and angels sing. 
   Haste, haste to bring Him laude 
   The babe, the Son of Mary!'

Pride wells up in me as I finish singing, knowing that the Bard's Guild is the
leading guild of the realm, and I can tell the healing properties of this 
songspell will be extra special. The heartwarming melody and lyrics fill 
everyone in the party with peace, and I can sense the radiance healing us all.
The dreamy warmth makes me want to close my eyes.

Suddenly, the blob extends a long oozing arm of goo! It grabs me by the neck!

*GRZZZZZZZZZZT* The blob drains my electrical bio-energy!

"Aaaaah-aakk!" my anguished cry cuts short as my throat involuntarily
contracts. 
My eyes bulge out and for the first time, I am stared into the disgusting
visage 
of my would-be killer.

This creature, whatever the hell it is, looks like a giant quivering droplet
of 
some kind of cohesive ooze, clear as pond water and tinted with a yellow-green
hue. Small pieces of bone and armour float within it, remnants of its last 
victims. Pseudopods of this goo lash out, trying to grab anything nearby, and 
crackling tendrils of electricity flare up along these limbs. It has a faint 
ring of bright yellow magic mist around its neck, and appears to be somewhat 
injured, but not nearly as injured as I am at the moment.

I can feel my blood beginning to boil at the agonizing reactions going on
inside 
my body. My entire being tensed and I felt myself losing consciousness.

                 *******

I was excited at the prospect of the adventure. I had been a Merchant for such
a 
long time, toiling away with laborious projects, that I almost forgot the
thrill 
of the fight.

"Everyone suit up, and we'll meet at Rilynt'tar." The black glow of the Tattoo
of a Tiger on my forearm pulsed as the voice of Ewige Blumenkraft echoed in my
head.

I finished pulling the equipment from my chests, and closed them, giving the 
dials a spin to lock them. First I slipped on the black nylon stockings, then 
tie the delicate strings on the set of Flutes of the Slave's sigh onto my
hands. 
I immediately feel more dexterous, and somewhat more musically inclined. I
slide 
ancient yellow bracelets onto my wrists, and immediately feel my mind opening
up 
to the flow of magic--I can feel the aid they give in my mental regeneration.
I 
grab two iron rings, called Twisters, and slide them onto my fingers, and a 
bright green cloud blurs my vision for a moment--now I will be able to detect 
any invisible enemies. 

The feather of the efreeti seems to float up into my hands, and I feel it's
warm 
tickle as I slide it behind my ear. Then I proudly pull out my two sabers, 
recalling the careful work I put into constructing them in my Merchant days. 
Pianissimo the sapphire sabre is covered in musical runes, and the sizzling 
Fortissimo the kryptonite sabre is etched with beautiful musical detailng. I 
know these will serve me well, should the time come.

I lovingly polish the Ankh hanging around my neck. This symbol unifies all
Bards 
with our brothers, as well as our history. Then I pull out my beloved 
instrument... a sitar made of jade, of incredible quality. The red glow on the
sitar is a visible indicator of the powerful magic that surrounds this 
instrument. Last, but not least, I grab a few notebooks in which I have
scribed 
lyrics to songspells I do not yet know by heart.

Prepared for the day, I stroll through the tower at Dragon's Leap, walking 
confidently past the dozens of massive statues ready to spring to life and 
protect our domain. I walk down into the public areas of the city, past the 
shops to the portal. The magical energy in this room is incredible, and it
never 
ceases to make my jaw drop. The swirling magic is actually visible in the
nexus, 
and I focus as I walk forward, thinking "Transport to Rilynt'tar". No sooner
do 
I think the words, than a strong vortex sucks me in through the portal. I feel
my body breaking down into it's very molecules, but in no more than half a 
second, I am suddenly in Rilynt'tar.

I smile at the gathered group. First, there is Ewige Blumenkraft the Lich. She
is the most powerful Monk in the realm, but also a skilled Templar, and even a
Follower of Tarmalen. The red hair always makes her stand out in a crowd, and
I 
always feel safe and protected in her presence.

Ah, and then there is Daria the grey Elf, a good friend, and also an admired 
Bard Loremaster. Instictively we both raise our Ankhs in greeting, and I know
my 
place as her apprentice.  She is also a Master Merchant, as well as an
aspiring 
Channeller. Impressive auras of music and energy swirl around her.

To my left is Resin Dentistador the Ent, one of the Evil Priests. I fight my 
instinctive fear of someone with such a strong connection to Burglefloogah.
Most 
thankfully, he is on our side. He is talking at the moment to Smash the grey 
Elf, who is a powerful master of magic. Combining the powers of a Psionicist
and 
Channeller is challenging, but Smash makes it seem easy.

Suddenly, a swirling vortex opens in the air above me, and down comes Boot To 
the Ogre. Our party is complete!

We quickly line up in formation, and begin our journey. We follow the shore of
the East Ocean inlet up to the northeast, and soon come to a pile of massive 
boulders. Quickly we move them and reveal a passage down into the ground. The 
famed Zoo of Trilloch is a place of great mystery and wonder. We easily battle
our way through the unusual assortment of creatures that Trilloch has
collected 
for his amusement, and spiral lower and lower into the compound.

We finally end up in a large, roughly cubical room with walls of black stone, 
hacked into bricks the size of cyclops torsos and tossed atop one another in a
not-terribly-reassuring structure. The floor looks like it might be made of 
flagstones, but it is hard to see, since a film or puddle a couple
fingerwidths 
deep coats it completely. Whatever this liquid is, it is slimy, clear, and has
a 
yellowish-green hue, and ranks of mold and mildew. Our only exit is an open
gate 
of iron bard leading to the west. I feel terribly uneasy.

Ewige surveys the room, and looks cautiously at the slime in the room. A quick
nod from her indicates we should prepare for battle. Her eyes gleam as she
holds 
aloft a small highsteel disc which flashes in many bright colours.

"fooharribah inaminos cantor!" she chants, and surrounds Boot with Armour of 
aether, then repeats the spell on herself.

"nostaaaanndiz noszum," utters Smash, providing the tanks with Iron will.

A large bulge in the center of the slime is rising up, collecting itself into
a 
huge blob. We sense that we better get ready for combat.

"Paxus!" Ewige chants, adding unstun to the protection of the team.

Daria pulls out her divine laen maracas and begins to sing:
   Once there were two knights and maidens 
   They'd walk together 
   Out in the gardens 
   In all kinds of weather 
   The maidens had other plans for the two knights 
   They'd give them potions 
   And make them see dreams and lights

Daria's eyes beam with the pride of our guild, as her songspell wraps us all 
into an embracing melody. I immediately feel more proficient in my abilities.

I pull out my sitar, and play it as fast as I can, singing:
   War is TOTAL massacre, sport the war, war SUPPOORT!!!

I feel full of battle rage, and know that victory is certain! The confident 
gazes on the rest of my team 

"Nice work, Bardling," says my mentor, Daria. "You've put hard work into 
learning your songs by heart."

I nod my head humbly.

"You are progressing well down the long, tough road. I think you are going to 
get a chance to use some new songspells here, so get your notebooks ready."

I knowingly pat the leather satchel containing my books. Suddenly, I feel a 
tingle on the back of my neck.

The slime rises, forming itself into a blob the size of a small house, and to 
make things more alarming, stripes of blue and magenta lightning are running 
along its thick armour-like membrane.

"Here we go," says Ewige"

Daria starts concentrating on a new offensive spell, as do Smash and Resin.

Four pseudopods of slime burst from the blob, thrashing around wildly and 
humming with electricity!

The electroblob launches into a ferocious attack, and it's first target is 
Ewige. The blob connects only a few of its hits, but Ewige and Boot are ready 
with a rebuttal.

Ewige braces her shield and bashes it viciously into the blob, carefully 
avoiding the blob's attempt to dodge. Then, focusing on the sensei's
teachings, 
Ewige kicks Electroblob. Boot focuses her rage and lashes out, slashing a
ragged 
wound in the blob.

Resin claps his hands and whispers, "PAF PAF PAF!"

It's obvious Resin dealt some serious damage to Electroblob. Meanwhile, Ewige 
points her Kerbholz at Electroblob, a bright yellow magic mist forms around
it.

The battle rages, spell after spell, strike after strike. Overall, our party
is 
doing quite well.

I close my eyes and concentrate, then open them wide, realizing that I know
the 
campfire tune by heart. I open my mouth and the warm tones flow:

   What Child is this, who laid to rest 
   On Mary's lap is sleeping, 
   Whom angels greet with anthems sweet 
   While shepherds watch are keeping? 
   This, this is Christ the King, 
   Whom shepherds watch and angels sing. 
   Haste, haste to bring Him laude 
   The babe, the Son of Mary!'

Pride wells up in me as I finish singing, knowing that the Bard's Guild is the
leading guild of the realm, and I can tell the healing properties of this 
songspell will be extra special. The heartwarming melody and lyrics fill 
everyone in the party with peace, and I can sense the radiance healing us all.
The dreamy warmth makes me want to close my eyes.

Suddenly, the blob extends a long oozing arm of goo! It grabs me by the neck!

                 *******

WHACK!

I am slowly coming to, my eyes cracking open. The pain is horrific.

'shar ryo den...Haa!' screams Smash, thrusting both hands forth. He hurls a 
crackling small blue comet at the blob, which explodes in a blast of light!
Smash grins as his channelball connects.

'grhagrhagrhagrah gra gra Hyaa!' screams Daria, clenching her fists. She
throws 
a half-dozen fireballs and finishes with an explosive coup de grace! The
blasts 
explode all around the blob, bursting into flames.

Ewige screams as she lashes out with a brutal fist, finally breaking the grip
og 
the blob around my neck. I drop to my knees, gasping for air, feeling the life
half-drained from me.

Ewige utters the magic words 'Grant your worshipper your protection' and I am 
suddenly enveloped in holy glow!

Daria, Smash and Resin continue blasting the foul creature, while Ewige casts 
party heal spells. 

Defiantly, I begin singing the campfire tune. This blob will not defeat us!

Inspired by my teammates, I rise to my feet. 

"Now would be a perfect time, Szilard," says Daria, with a wink.

Reaching into my satchel, I quickly pull out a notebook and read it. I
memorize 
the tunes for "Strength in unity," then begin to play and sing:
   You say you don't believe this unity will last, 
   Nobody said it would be perfect, 
   But co-operate, 
   Share your pain and strength. 
   Together we are strong.

I feel great unity with my party--we all seem stronger because of each other. 
The battle rages on, and we move even more swiftly, developing a good rhythm. 
Slowly but surely, we are breaking down our enemy.

Resin claps his hands and whispers 'PAF PAF PAF!' I cringe as the power of 
Burglefloogah takes over Resin! A cold evil presence fills the room, and an 
awful crackling is heard as the life is drained out of Electroblob!!

I sense the end is near!

The battle is dizzying now, and we are almost victorious. Ewige leaps up and 
spin-kicks Electroblob sealing up cardiac veins and crushing the ribcage.
Daria 
thrusts both hands forth and screams 'shar ryo den...Haa!' 

Daria hurls a torso-sized ball of glowing red power at the beast, which
explodes 
in a blast of light! The impact sends shockwaves through the room.

Its cytoplasm damaged beyond self-regeneration, the blob melts down into a
disgusting puddle, becoming inert. The creature is dead!

The magic mist around the dead blob leaps into Ewige's Kerbholz.

I throw my hands in the air and shout "Whee!" with great enthusiam. We all 
cheer, and Daria and I begin playing victory tunes. I feel vastly more 
experienced after a battle like this. In fact, this house-sized blob of 
translucent yellow-green goo is my new top party kill.

And the sun hasn't even set! 


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