Library: The legend about decanter of wealth

The legend about decanter of wealth It was a nice sunny Sunday evening. Three buddies Rapiti, Rutku and Darre drunken peasants decided to go and defeat one of the notorious drunkards on land.. Only a week ago on Rutku's annual CornSpirit day, it was thirteeth on row and Rutku was so proud of that tradition. While the celebration was going at its highest point... of course many barrels of divine spirits have already emptied by passionate celebrants, a dark figure suddenly appeard to dark corner. Darre noticed him, rapidly grabbed can of cornspirit and quickly delivered that to stranger. Stranger took the can and faster than lightning, tossed liquid down to throat. Darre was impressed by admirable performance. Outsider did same trick again and several times before he moved to table. Stranger started to mumble something, what really interested Rapiti, Rutku and Darre. Man introduced himself, he called himself as 'Drunken Mansku'. He told about the place he came from. There fountains flow beer, trees carry sausages, birds don't fly straight, a paradise, a paradise of the bums! But yes, there was something that was more interesting than paradise. It was mystical decanter, the decanter of wealth, decanter that produces unlimited amount of booze! Dream of every self-respecting scrounger. That was something cornspirit festival was missing, thought Rutku. But no, the task would not be that simple, said Mansku. Decanter was guarded by notorious fat bastard! And only way to get decanter, is to drink fat bastard under table. Many brave men have tried, but no one has ever been able to drink that much beer as fat bastard. After telling that, Mansku drops out due to high amount of spirit. Darre got a king idea, he mutters to Rapiti that they could go and drink that piece of decanter from Fat Bastard. Rapiti suggested that first they need to practice one week and after that challenge Fat Bastards fatty butt. Nothing shouldn't go wrong. Their training program would be really degenerative for normal peoples physical conditions, but our heroes have used these wonderful grain products for many years, so one decay week wont do any difference for guys. Week passed quickly and many gallons of beer, booze and other spirits had been drunk. And finally became time to start unbelievable journey. First they bridled the mule, old faithful mulie. Second, wheelcart, which was used many times to transfer divine "barley shake" from place to another, was now filled with that same liquid, ten barrels. Third step, sturdy base intoxication of course! And then the travel shall begin. Journey went nicely, two barrels of beer had been drunk, many songs sung, and few hazards passed, like Rapiti dropped his favourite tankard and broke it, Darre fell down from cart and Rutku didn't notice that before they had travelled few hours and they turned back and found Darre stomped on road sleeping. Several days passed like others. Mule stumbles determinedly ahead. Suddenly bunch of bandits ambushed our band and speedily surrounded carrier. Spirits or life was their request. That's a good opportunity to test our abilities thought Rapiti and suggested little contest for bandits, drinking contest! Two barrels were taken down from cart and the game begun. Can after can emptied in mens throat, first barrel was empty now. Second barrel was going down fast rate. First bandit gone, snorting on ground loudly, our heroes showing no marks of drunkenness. Bandit after bandit got sleepy and finally blacked out, just before second barrel was fully empty. And its was time to continue with travel. Stupid mule just didn't want to move before it gets its drink from barrel too, well this mule isn't just an ordinary mule. Few nights these scamps rambled more or less close to their destination. And finally big flapdoors of Fat Bastards Tavern unfolded in front of our heroes. It was most magnificent bar they had ever seen. Gold, silver, mithril, diamond, WHOA! Cans were pure gold! Wait, what a hell is this place? Some kind of high society place? Bleah, this place is not for us, thought Darre. But wait a minute, there's a rusty door at alley side of building. That's the place we're looking for. Trio entered the rusty tavern and what? Wow! There he was.. The Fat Bastard! You haven't seen that fat dude since Star Wars Jabba the Hutt. This creature would eat those barrels with one bite. Fat bastard looks already drunk, maybe he's a piece of cake. Three men stumbled through the room and stood staggering in front of Drunkard. Challenge for Decanter has been delivered. All four moved to another room, challenge room. There was a big round table and many seats around it. Lot of beer barrels on walls and nice smell of barley. Everyone took own seat and beer slaves started to bring in the beer. Everyone swallowed beer in one gulp. And next round was brought to table. And same again. Same circle went many hours around, around, around and around. First who dropped was Rapiti. Fat Bastard just laughed loud. And game goes on and on and on and on. Several hours had passed and next one who dropped was Darre. Fat Bastard just laughed more. One day had gone and contest still continued. After last ones you could see some sort of exhaustion on both gamblers. Ground trembles when Drunkards burp and almost fell down. Rutku's stomach started to rumble and he almost threw up, but he was just able to keep fluids inside. Looks like this match was going to end soon. Many gallons of beer fluctuates on floor. Fat Bastard drinks slowly his drink and finished it with style, while he swings around his place, but still remains up. Rutku starts drinking, slowly, slowly, looks like it wont never end, but he still got it all down. Rutku's face stars to wriggle and changed its colour to white, he just fell down from seat and curled in ball. Fat Bastard had won again and lets out booming laughter. Some days later. Three ramshacked men woke up on grassland outside of Fat Bastards Tavern. They had very angry looks and they all shouted at same time loudly 'WE'LL BE BACK!' ++ Rapidfire Disclaimer: No animals or creatures harmed during writing this tale.

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Library: The legend about decanter of wealth