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Library: Sad story of lousy adventurer called Vihuri the Rokko


Author: puhuri
Date:Sep 22 2003

There are not player called Vihuri (yet) in mud.
This story is 10% fiction and 5% pure lies.

Vihuri that nogood S.O.B decided to start adventuring one day.
Rebirth of the world was only few hours away, so he decided to get cheap
weapons on his way.
Please note we say He just to be polite, that is pretty close what that Vihuri
thing is.
There is Lady of the tower and Vihuri is her house slave.
Lady says sweetly: Take my gown to drycleaner. And don't you dare to take it
to pawn shop this time...
Lady says For if you do, I'll hang you on worlds highest flagpole in Kuala
Lumpur, skin you alive, dance on your skin with high heeled shoes, and THEN I
become really mean.
On his way Vihuri goes.
Two bandits are waiting for suckers... errr clients here.
Bandit one says: Good morning sir, would you please pass you possessions here,
so they don't get stained when we kill you.
Vihuri answers: Unfortunately I went adventuring totally naked, with no
equipment on me.
Bandit one says: Holy shit that sucks. Please, do take this sword, so you look
a bit more like an adventurer.
Bandit two says: You can't run around naked, take this vest so you are atleast
Vihuri says: thank you guys, really decent of you.
Vihuri grins evilly, he stole two sour wines from the bandits while they were
Vihuri gets to the horny Minotaur.
Minotaur says: If you are here to sacrifice me I'll eat your balls!
Vihuri counters: Eat my balls? My my what language, guess you aren't called
horny just because of your horns.
Vihuri continues: Anyway, I am not here to sac anybody  or anything. I started
adventuring without any eq, and now I have only this little sword here.
Minotaur says: What a sad excuse of an adventurer starts without any eq! Now
lemme guess... You want my axe don't you?
Vihuri says: Why yes, your axe is more handy than your head for me.
Minotaur scrapes the wall with his horns and sparkles lighten the place.
Minotaur says: Ok that is fair enough. Here you go.
Minotaur drops his axe to Vihuri.
Now now, a ranger would do better with two axes than with an axe and a sword,
now where would we get decent free axe.
Vihuri starts his journey to Rolle the mad dwarf.
On path he sees Kevap the black Coffee idling.
Vihuri looks at Rolle.
Rolle chuckles jovially.
Vihuri says: Howdy Rolle me old fellow. I started adventuring today without
any eq, and have now only this Iron axe and a sword.
Rolle says: So it seems, not very sensible of you.
Vihuri says: but but, I really really need two axes, could you pretty please
give me yours?
Rolle says: Now how am I supposed to cut trees without an axe?
Vihuri says: Trees don't fight back, I need you axe more than you do!
Rolle says: Ok, here you go, but better not come back after I have crafted new
axe, I'll need it myself.
Rolle drops his axe to Vihuri.
Kevap arrives, enough idling presumably.
Kevap says: Give me that axe.
Kevap says: Give me that axe.
Vihuri says: I got this axe because I needed it, I started adventuring without
equipment and I really need it.
Kevap says: Give me that axe.
Vihuri considers the situation for a moment - if Kevap really needs an axe, he
needs it more than Vihuri. Vihuri can get weapons more easily.
Kevap says: Give me that axe.
Vihuri drops the axe to Kevap.
After about an hour, after doing some idle adventuring Vihuri returns to Rolle
the mad dwarf.
Vihuri says: Hmm, you have a new axe now.
Rolle says: Yes, and I'm gonna keep it that way.
Vihuri says: I gave your axe to Kevap earlier, and I still need a new axe.
Rolle says: If you can't keep your equipment don't blame me.
Vihuri goes to another room, one south from Rolle to rethink his negotiation
When he is ready, he returns to Rolle.
Hmm, when he had left Rolle he was still steadfast in his position, now he is
wavering slightly.
Vihuri must have made a hell of an opening argument.
Vihuri says: Now if you don't give me that axe, I'll just keep coming back to
you until I get the axe and you get nothing useful done.
Kevap comes in from west.
Rolle drops his axe to Vihuri.
Kevap says: Give me that axe.
Vihuri says: What? I already gave you one axe, I need this myself!
Kevap says: Give me that axe.
Rolle says: Don't look at me, definately no more axes from me this boot.
Kevap says: Give me that axe.
Vihuri says: Now, you can't expect me to keep getting you weapons, if I want
to do any adventuring, I need this myself.
Kevap says: You already got my exp, give me my axe.
Vihuri is totally blank for a moment.
Kevap says: give me that axe.
Now now, sounds like Kevap is accusing of stealing his kill,
as vihuri was not in the same room with rolle all the time, he indeed might
have started negotiations with Rolle while Vihuri was resting...
Rolle did give up somewhat easily after hell of a resistance initially,
but how to talk with Kevap about this as he seems to have reduced
Kevap says: Give me my axe.
One track mind that one, would it do any good to put Kevap away for a while...
Vihuri ponders his assets and liabilities for a moment.
Vihuri drops the axe to Kevap.
On his way home Vihuri starts getting deppresses, as he can't remember what he
did with the gown.
Vihuri thinks this and thinks that and while thinking he empties the wines he
got from the bandits.
Vihuri enters the tower with his eyes burning red, swinging his Axe high above
his head.
Vihuri shouts: No more slavery in this tower.
The lady begins to frown, but notices how drunk Vihuri is.
Lady whispers: now now, I take this axe.
Lady takes the axe between her thump and forefinger and delicately lifts it
from Vihuri.
Lady drops a broom to Vihuri.
Lady whispers: You better clean downstair, where you usually puke coming home
in that state.
Lady whispers: tomorrow, when you wish you were dead, I'll have a talk with
Lady smiles extremly sweetly.
Vihuri shudders.
How nice to have something to look forward. <GLUP>
Lady whispers: And that is a promise.