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Library: Bonehead the Troll proving himself worthy

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Author: tan
Date:Dec 13 2003

   Great is the Realm of Bat, not only in size, but in other dimensions too. 
Wise were the Gods who sculpted it with their own hands and thoughts. The
Earth itself radiates great magical powers and even a fool can see it. Well,
almost any fool. Mischievous was the intent of the Gods when they created
the most inferior beings, the primitive life forms that roam in the Realm 
just to amuse the civilized ones. Come, hear this tale of the most simple 
creatures treading the plains back and forth, without any greater purpose. 
Listen and learn, this is a story of the barbarian kind.
   For days he had been wandering, looking for a village to plunder and burn,
or at least to find something to eat. He was bored of eating the same old 
skwerrl'n'rat soup his mother had taught him to make when he was still 
a little boy. Actually, when he really thought about it, if you can call the
process "thinking" when it involves a barbarian, it was all his mother's
fault. She was the one who had told him stories of great warriors and
promised him he would some day perform valiant deeds, slay great beasts,
become a hero, marry a princess and rule half a kingdom. Sure he had slain
a few of wild boars with his tribe members, but when it was time for him
to prove himself worthy by going on a journey on his own, what he had 
ended up with was not fame, riches and lusty virgins, but a great deal of
trouble. He had been chased by almost anything from Lorenchia to Shadowkeep,
which he didn't quite understand. How come nobody understood he was just
performing his Groo given duty? "Them all be flamin mind flappers..." he 
muttered to himself.
   In the late afternoon he saw a fire burning bright on a hill ahead and 
thought this would be the day he would be remembered of. He imagined the
rewarding smell of the burning huts and roasting pork awaiting him for 
finally showing everyone what it means to be run over by the barbaric
rage. Yes, this time would be different. This time he would not just go
in and start smashing things. He would use his cunning and wit! "Ha!
Surprise attack it be! Them never know what hit!", is what he kept
telling himself. He had a sly plan indeed. He gathered some sticks and
leaves from the nearby bushes and skillfully disguised himself as a bush
by attaching them in his long hair. "Ayew cannt see but them be thinkin
ittis justa movin bush, heheh! And then it be too late!", he chuckled to 
himself. He started climbing the rocky hill with the thought of 
slaughter on his tiny little mind.
   Trolls are rather cumbersome, and a blindfolded troll climbing a rocky
hill is a sight indeed. Amazingly, he managed to climb the hill in a 
matter of hours, only after a couple of times rolling back to base of 
the hill. He started approaching the fire guided by his scent, but soon 
a booming voice asked 'What is it you are actually trying to do?'.
Instantly he threw away his unsuccessful disguise and glanced at the
speaker. It was a huge titan wearing furs and leather with horns and 
fangs of various creatures hanging around his neck and waist. 'I SAID,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?', the titan asked, becoming seemingly irritated.
'Me burn, me destroy and take weapon and food from enemy', the troll
managed to mumble and quietly moved a couple of steps away from the
titan. 'Well, bring it on! I have always wanted to make boots out of
troll skin!', the titan answered. The troll gathered all his courage and
leapt at the titan, starting to headbutt the titan's knee with his head.
No matter how much he kept bashing, the titan wouldn't even move a muscle.
After a while the exhaustion took over and he fell down panting and
gasping for air. The titan looked down at the troll and started to laugh.
'You call yourself a fighter? You have a lot to learn, boy. But I can see 
you have potential. Come, sit by the fire, I can see you are hungry. Take
a bite of the pheasant and then we will see what we can do so you can call
yourself a real warrior.' The troll did as the titan had advised. The titan
started training the young troll, and one day he did become a warrior...But 
that is an another story.
                                                              THE END


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