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Library: What do I do now? Making Decisions

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Author: merja
Date:Aug 31 2005

Top ten decisions 1. WHOM TO MARRY, and when.
Men: you should get married sooner than you think. A lot of men wait too long,
thinking they have all the time in the world. All the smart men who've been
where you are say the same thing-start looking early on for a woman you want
to marry, and when you find her, grab her.
   Women: you should think about getting married later than you probably had
in mind. Too many women feel too much pressure too soon. Do yourself and your
future partner a favour by taking the pressure off yourself until you know who
you are and what you want.
   As for whom to marry? Obviously this is an enormously personal decision,
but I'm here on bended knees begging you to pay attention to some fantastially
important basic principles. Smart people who've been farther down this road
than you all say:
   *marry someone you like. we all think love is important but really liking
someone is even more important.
   *marry someone who's not crazy. why the hell do people violate this
principle? maybe they think crazy is interesting. it isn't. it messes you up,
and everyone around you. don't marry anyone with mental or emotional problems.
   *marry someone you have fun with. 
   *marry the smartest, most solid person you can find.
   *marry someone who has the same vision you do for how you'll spend your
lives.
   
2. WHAT CAREER TO CHOOSE.
This question is not just for young people. more and more of us are changing
careers at different points along the way, and often we're changing more than
once. So what should we think about when we're making a career decision?
   *Forget about the money. money's impt but with rare exceptions different
careers don't really represent that much difference in income for a person of
a given level of education. happiness is having enough money to pay your bills
and not worry. more money than that doesn't make you happy. the inet
billionaires who did it just for the money aren't happy. the ones who didn't
do it for the money-they're happy, but it's not their money that's making them
happy.
      
   *Don't try to impress other people. whether we like it or not we use our
career as the ultimae fashion accessory. the answer we give when we're asked
'what do you do' can make us feel better than a $2000 suit. but if we choose a
career we don't like we'll never be happy no matter how impressed other people
will be. and trust me on this: if what you do makes you feel good you won't
care what other ppl think.
   * never choose a career based on trying to be something you're not. if you
try to attain self-improvement via a career hcoice you probably won't improve
yourself and you'll almost certainly set yourself up for a lousy career
exeprience. instead choose a career the way you'd choose your clothes. pick
one that emphasizes your good points and hides your fflaws.
   * look for growth opportunities. there is more to you than you think. more
than other ppl think. you need a career that will enable you to experience
yourself as someone grows in knowledge, power, skill, expierience, maturity.
choose whatever career is right fo ryou, but be very skeptical of careers
where thirty years from now you're going to be doing exactly what you're doing
today. in other words, don't just look for a career, look for a career path.
if you don't choose a career that has lots of open doors, you're going to have
to break open doors yourself.
     
3. Where to live. Your work determines where you live, and then you just find
a place not too far away from it. what's the problem?
   * ge the least expensive place you can. nothing will mess up your life than
falling in love with a too-expensive home and thinking you can swing it. in
fact it'll suck you dry financially and emotionally.
   * live as close to a city as you possibly can. this is controversial, if
you absolutely love the country and hate the city, you have to live in the
place you love.
   * minimize your commuting time.
   * never live anywhere that depresses you.
     
4. whether and when to have children.
   If you want to have children don't agonize over when, because there's no
perfect time. whenever you have them you'll find a way to make it work. and
don't agonize over not having them. people who are childless by choice are
generally happier than ppl with children. the time and money and fredom that
become available when you don't have kids are a wonderful gifdt and a great
opportunity.
5. Whether to change jobs.
   * when you have a bad boss.
   * when there is no room for advancement.
   * when you have an opportunity to work for a good company.
   *When your job is a source of pain
   * when you have a chance to learn new skills, alternate lateral and upward
moves
   * when the job will be fun, give yourself a pleasure promotion
     
6. Whether to get divorced.
  Mira Kirshenbaum's book 'Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay: A step-by=step
guide to deciding whether to stay in or get out of your relationship'
 If you're wrestling with the question of staying in or getting out of an iffy
relationship, that book will give you everything you need. THere are 36
guidelines. Here's the first. If it never was very good, it never will be very
good.
   
7. How much to save and what to invest in.
   Save at least 10% of your yearly income.
Good decision makers think about the future. Poor decision makers are driven
by impulse.
What to invest in. Two keys: 1. consistency, and 2. buy growth stocks.
   
8. what to do about a particular health problem.
go to the best doctor you can find. then listen to that doctor. then always
get a second opinion. third, understand that the patient is the one with the
greatest responsibility for his own health care. if you don't actively or even
passsionately embrace your dr's suggestions for what you need to do such as
diet and exercise, then you might as well sign up on the side of your disease.
   ~
9. what to do when your kid has a problem
   they assume that their kid is ok. they saddle him up and taake him to
therapy for a new label. a nd normally it's the parents. parents who label
their kids and always look for problems are gfiving their kids the message
that they cannot trust themselves. this creates a kid with the bigger
problems.
    
10. how to retire.
you retire to something not from something. this is the insight of ppl making
great decisions. so just keep on working until you decide on how you want to
spend your retirement years.


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