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Library: Squirrels tale

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Author: goa
Date:Mar 22 2006

Once upon a time, there was a Squirrel.                                       
Happy looking fellow with few sharp teeth.                                    
It was warm summer day, as the tale starts.                                   
Our man, TEH Squirrel was spending his time with lounging on the green,       
long, very nice-looking, juicy inviting grass.                                
Squirrel just lounged there and did nothing.                                  
Sun went down the horizon and the squirrel climbed up his hometree            
and went to sleep.                                                            
Over the night he slept, dreaming about nuts. Delicious ones.                 
Those grew only southern side of the Rilyntar and they were so rare nuts that 
the taste was unearthly good.                                                 
As the sun rised, the hero of this tale woke up.                              
"Good morning" squirrel said to his alarmclock (off) and yawned tiredly.      
Then he climbed down to the grass and started lounging.                       
It was already afternoon when some old man appeared from near woods.          
Man walk next to squirrel and said:                                           
"Look at you, just lounging here all day loooooooooooooooooooooong..."        
Squirrel shrugged and man got pissed. "Winter will theach you some maneuvers" 
man muttered and walk away.                                                   
                                                                              
Suddenly squirrel felt sad, stupid and lonely.                                
He figured out that he must gather some stuff for the winter                  
instead of endless lounging...                                                
Squirrel climbed back to tree and took his Adventurer-kit                     
with him and put it in the bag. Then he threw bag to his shoulder and thought:
"I'll be ready for the winter.                                                
I'll travel to all the way down to Rilynttar and grab those nuts with me..."  
                                                                              
Leaves started to fall as squirrel was travelling to the Rilynttar.           
Autumn was already there.                                                     
Squirrel thought: "Screw you autumn,                                          
I'll make it all the way to Rilynttar and grab those nuts,                    
before the winter comes...."                                                  
                                                                              
Road was long for little squirrel like Tom to travel.                         
Stones were hard and they seem to get harder mile by mile.                    
Gladly squirrel Tom took his pair of forest-green hiking shoes with him.      
"I'm so happy that I left those +dam boots home..."                           
he thought and continued walking.                                             
Suddenly, Raccoon wearing a black mask <evil glow> jumped out of bushes.      
"Gimme your wallet" Raccoon screamed.                                         
Squirrel was ambushed, scared and shivering in fear,                          
so he gave his wallet to evil raccoon robber.                                 
Raccoon run away with Tom's wallet dropping some coins after him.             
Tom picked few coins from the ground and put them into his bag.               
"Gladly he didn't took my Adventurer-kit."                                    
Tom thought and looked into kit (which was into bag).                         
Adventurer-kit (tm) contains: A Shotgun, Jug with water (endless),            
ten pieces of lembasbread, inflatable demon and a rope.                       
Tom closed the bag and kept on hiking. Road was long still,                   
Tom lived next from newbie mines, so he had to take few steps to get there.   
Tom kept on moving and suddenly he was standing on a bonfire glade!           
There was Rolf the timberjack sitting on a stub.                              
"Hey ya! I'm Tom TEH squirrel and I'm hunting some nuts,                      
I need to go all the way to the Rilynttar to get those. Who are you?"         
Tom asked.                                                                    
Rolf answered:                                                                
"I'm Rolf and I have lost my huge dwarven axe made of mithril..."             
"I will return it to you if I happen to found it"                             
said Tom and Rolf promised to reward him.                                     
Then Rolf built huge(tm) bonfire and they ate some lembasbread together,      
as like old fellows.                                                          
Night came and these fellows slept as bonfires warmth shooted on them.        
Morning came and Rolf was gone.                                               
"I guess I slept on some bad position cause my butt is that hurt"             
Tom thought and kept on traveling to the Rilynttar.                           
                                                                              
Tom was deep in the forest when he heard some voices.                         
Tom sneaked closer and saw two rangers talking there.                         
Other was lecturing another:                                                  
"...and beware if you go near that glade,                                     
he will probably tell you that he has lost his loved axe,                     
but it's a lie. He uses it at daytimes near the lake.                         
He works for some merchant and takes he's payment in mushroomdust...          
After the story he sets up a bonfire and blows some dust on you..."           
After hearing that Tom get shocked.                                           
"Holy partymoose! I've been abused!!!"                                        
he thought and hope that none will ever find out.                             
Feeling such a great shame Tom thought that nuts won't be needed anymore.     
                                                                              
So Tom left the forest and started to seek for solutions.                     
Adventurer-kit was holding all the answers. First one was shotgun,            
but squirrel was not man enough to do it.                                     
Next answer he got was the rope. "It'd be quickly over...                     
just little time swinging and wriggling..." he thought.                       
Suddenly blood rushed into his head as the thought of revenge filled his mind.
Tom ran near mountain that was said to be home of some evil demon.            
He searched the area and found a secret entrance of the demons cave.          
There was some horrible ritual going on.                                      
Lots of dwarves were worshipping the demon.                                   
Demon was playing satanic chords with it's accordion and                      
Tom watched it from the side and was hiding...                                
Then Tom blew up the inflatable demon from adventurer-kit                     
and started to swing it behind the rock he was hiding.                        
Demon saw another demon in his lair and became LUNATIC!                       
"Who dares to challenge me!" it shout.                                        
Tom ran out of the cave and head into forest with his inflatable demon.       
Beastly roaring demon ran after and started to track them.                    
                                                                              
Rolf was sleeping at the glade when Tom silently ran there.                   
He placed fake demon top of Rolf carefully and Rolf kept on snoring...        
Then he quickly hided into near bushes.                                       
Furious demon arrived and pointed at fake demon.                              
Then demon pulled off an accordian and started to play with it.               
Demonic chords split the air and fake demon exploded and Rolf                 
turned into a stone.                                                          
Tom jumped from bushes, pointed at Rolf <statued> and shout:                  
"U R so K!                                                                    
Demon was very confused what was happening.                                   
Tom took rope from his kit and tied it to statue (Rolf)                       
and asked if demon could help him with moving the statue.                     
Demon said yes and then they pulled the statue to OCP.                        
OCP was filled with undead pigeons and after few days the statue was          
covered with pigeon crap.                                                     
Same old man arrived and looked the statue with a satisfied smile.            
"Damn that takes lots of nuts to get one focker out from the world."          
Old man smiled as the autumns last sunrays shone his face.                    
It's started snowing and the old man was already gone.                        
Landscape was all white,                                                      
under the snow and there were no food for small squirrels.                    
So this poor fellow, squirrel named Tom, starved to his death.                
                                                                              
The End.                                                                      


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