My Girlfriend Took Up Poker by zero The girlfriend took up poker, I can't believe its true; She started online yesterday And I'm not sure what to do.... She's already cost us money, She's a hundred dollars down; She says its 'cause she's had no luck - All I do is frown. She thinks she's tight/aggressive, I wish that she were passive - Even with a nine and four I see her raising massive! With every face card she must raise, She says its 'cause they're "pretty"! I just cringe and walk away And sit and watch the footy. She doesn't like the Ace of spades 'Cause its an "ugly" card; I watched her muck it with a king And almost hit her - HARD! She says that it is "boring" To be dealt a pocket pair; I watched her folding bullets And tore out half my hair! In a hand against "SadRabbit" She had him fully beat, But she wouldn't "take advantage" 'Cause she thought his name was "sweet"! If she holds the nuts she will not bet: She thinks that its "unfair"! And when re-raised she always calls 'Cause she's "got chips to spare"! Now she's thinking of NO LIMIT!! She thinks it might be fun!!! - I'm going through my chest of drawers, I'm looking for my gun!! Downstairs and armed and dangerous, Although it may be mean, I take my aim and fire twice.......... And blow away the scr