Dear blog, I'm feeling a bit wistful this morning.  The holidays tend to do
this to me.  A time for reflection on the year that was, and the year that
will be.  Of course my thoughts drift on to my love life or lack thereof as
the case stands.  I had mentioned in my previous entries, that I had 3
different women of varying degrees of interest.  Well, so far, nothing has
progressed beyond friendship for any of the 3.  One gal, things wouldn't work,
as she tends to have this negative personality that tires me after 15 minutes
of conversation.  Another gal, who is much more happy hasn't been showing any
signs of interest in me in "that way".  The 3rd gal is turning out to be a
strange case indeed.  She runs hot and coldin terms of affection towards me. 
I thought she was seeing another guy, yet I'm not sure. Thankfully, I have
come to understand her well enough to know that I don't need to be involved
with her beyond friends.  It would seem our theological beliefs are
fundamentally different enough, that it would not work out between us.  I
respect her faith, but I have a feeling it would be a source of contention
later in a relationship.  We are very, very similar though in many ways, and I
know how I would feel in this matter, and I'm assuming she would be the same. 

So, that leaves me about where I started this year, single and looking once
again.  Single life wouldn't be bad if there this damn clock that is ticking
against me.  It is the despair that creeps in now and again.  The despair that
I may never find anyone to share my life with, someone to build a family with.
 I'm in my 30's now, and I wonder if it is too late for me.  Do I give up my
hopes and resign myself to this life the way it is?  It would certainly ease
some of life's pain, but then there would be a different emptiness that would
resign itself in my heart.  Fear not dear blog, I shall keep the hope and
dream alive for a while longer, for I do not quit that easily.  But with that
dream, sister despair will also be a companion to me.  And it is that despair
that tends to grip me this time of the year as I am flooded by media images of
family and such.  Such is my cross, so must I bear it.  At least I have this
means of reducing the load a little with my writings.

So now I shall move ever onwards.  Work at least has been moderately
rewarding, even though I've been pretty busy the past weeks.  My hard work is
paying off, as I have been told unofficially that I will be getting a
promotion at the end of the year.  And I should have a few days off for
Thanksgiving holiday this coming weekend.  The only thing I have on my
schedule is going to my brother's place on Thur. for the meal.  If the weather
cooperates, I should get a few days in out in either the woodpile or the
timber.  Otherwise, I may come back and get some more time here in at work so
I can get closer to the end of this workload.  

Ugh, X-mas is almost a month away.  The pain, the suffering, the shopping ,
the gift ideas that I don't have yet.  *moan*  I hate this time of the year. 
**