It's been 24 hours since my vow to not respond to fear.  But there was more to
it than what I wrote.  I decided to work, really work, at projecting a
positive aura.  What the hell?  New age crap?  No.  Aura, vibe, image.  I just
don't know a good word to use, so aura will suffice.  There is a trick to
projecting an aura, and it isn't smiling.  A forced smile is transparent.  A
positive aura is seen in your smile, your eyes, your cheeks, your posture,
your walk and in your voice.  It is in too many things to easily fake.  You
have to force yourself to feel it.  I do this through music.  I think of an
upbeat song that I know and get it stuck in my head.  I keep this song at the
forefront of my thoughts.  This probably won't work with headbanger music, or
classic country.  Think of a 'happy, fun' song.  I find 'The bad touch' or
'Too Sexy' work well.

With a song in my head, I involuntarily assume the emotion of the song.  The
two I mentioned are a weird mix of happy, fun, and sexy.  So regardless of
what's happening, I'm having a bad work day, or traffic bugs me, or whatever,
I keep the song the primary thought.  I walk with a bit of a bounce (but not
TOO much), I have an expression of contentment on my face, and I look and feel
approachable.

24 hours, and here's the preliminary results.  I got laid twice (by the wife)
and had 3 conversations with people who've worked with me for 5 years and
haven't said a word.  This is good.  Fuck the venlafaxine, just gimme the beat
boys and free my soul.

OK, enough happiness for one blog.  Now...I need to figure out how to make
friends in RL.  It's true, my best friend in the entire world has never met
me.  All my recent soul-searching has made me realize that I should have
friends with common interests.  hmm...maybe I'll work on that later.