I just have to get these thoughts out of my head, I just have to think them
through or they'll haunt me all day long.  And I just wanted to have a weekend
off. *sigh*

So, I went out last night to a local bar to catch a local band and see the
costumes with the guys I go to the gym with and girlfriend of one them.  Fast
forward till after midnight as I'm sitting in the circle of friends.  A woman
comes over, leans over and says "my sister finds you very handsome.  if you
want to, come over and talk with her."  She turns and leaves and then what do
I do?  Do I get up and go over immediately to find out who the sister is?  No.
 Instead, I sit there and debate with myself on what I should do.  Panic sets
in.  If this woman finds me attractive, surely there must be something
seriously wrong with her.  Cowardice sets in, I try to melt in with the
shadows, avoiding contact.  Twenty minutes later, everyone is ready to go home
and we leave.  Fifteen minutes after that, I am dropped off at my truck and
driving home. I then realize, 'what the fuck am I doing'?  I don't get hit on
but once a decade.  What the FUCK?!?  I lay down and can't get to sleep as the
self beatings begin in earnest.  Eight hours later while showering, I realize
I could have driven back yet that evening and try to correct my error.  Fuck
me.

Dammit, why can't I be happy being alone?  Why do I have these urges to be
part of a whole.  I can be happy being single, I am happy dammit.  Yet deep
down within, there is the Voice, and it shouts back at me 'LIAR'!  Then I feel
the pain within, the hollow void.  Today it holds the whips and it wishes to
remind me of my failures.  And so, the beatings shall continue until morale is
raised....Shoutout to Goofy.