"It feels like it was just yesterday ..."

Almost exactly 20 years ago, on 30th of March 2004, I logged into BatMUD
for the first time and created a character. It wasn't "Ggr", but "Ccr" -
the pseudonym (or "handle") I've used most of my life in demoscene
related activities. But Ccr didn't last for long - I can't recall exactly
why, but I suicided that character and created "Ggr" just the day after.
Most likely reason may be that I didn't know about reincs or something.
Times were a bit different back then.

And that is how I came to BatMUD .. well, there's more to it actually.
I had known about Bat for a long time before trying it out myself. I knew
a few people in real life who played it, including mr. Xunisiih and
Pertulio. I didn't know much about the game itself, but had seen them
play it from over the shoulder perspective and it all seemed a bit silly
to an outsider. They talked a lot about exp, mobs, etc. and I remember
feeling amused about Xuni's foam-mouthed ramblings about all of it being
this and that (some things never change.)

However, at this point of my life in early 2004 I was not feeling well.
I've been a "sufferer" of depression for most of my life since late teens
and I had recently attempted suicide in the autumn of 2003. Luckily or
unluckily I didn't manage to hang myself then, so life went on.

I can't say what exactly pushed me to try BatMUD, perhaps I was looking
for something new, something to keep my mind occupied. I've never considered
myself a "gamer" per se, though I have and do play games. Back then titles
like Fallout 1 & 2 and Nethack were close to my heart, and all 3 of those
had been targets of somewhat addictive behavior. Whatever the reason,
I acclimated well to BatLife, I suppose. I had nothing but time to put into
the game and while I've never been a "power player" per se, I enjoyed all
the interactions with other players and adventuring around.

Like many of us, I met a lot of new people along the way and gained some
that I still consider friends today, like mr. Femko who was the first
wizard I befriended. Many of those people I met back then, as life tends
to go, are now gone, in one way or another. Some haven't logged on for years
and their status is unknown .. and sadly some won't never pop in again.
A number of more and less prominent players and wizards have passed on to
the great beyond during these 20 years. (I keep a memorial list on my 'plan'
with names of some of players who I knew on some level, but of course that
is just a small subset of all of the people who have passed on.)

Back in 2004 I was fairly certain myself that I wouldn't go past age of 40
myself but here I still am, now a wizard for last 12 years - not as active
as I was in the beginning, but still around. Even as a player often the most
enjoyment I felt was when helping others. Having been both a hobbyist and
professional programmer, I quickly started developing all kinds of BatMUD
related projects like GgrTF scriptset and the "Pupunen" map project,
both of which are still alive today (though GgrTF is mostly in "maintenance
mode").

Although several wizards and archwizards had been seducing me to the
wizardly side of things for years already, I only eventually succumbed in
early 2012 (29 Jan 2012 to be exact). A new adventure had begun for me,
with different challenges. Early times of wizard life were busy. Created
my first area (and still the only original area of my own in 2024. I
should improve that situation.) and worked on many many many things quite
actively for few years. Things have quieted down a bit since, but I still
try to spend some months being more active here every year.

My tendencies as a wizard have always been to work on cleaning up code,
fixing bugs, and improving usability. This has, combined with my obsession
with code quality and other such issues, sometimes led me stress over these
things a lot and frustration from that has caused me to vent this stress
perhaps a bit loud-mouthedly by complaining about whatever eldritch horror
piece of code I've been working on at the time.

I feel like I owe some kind of apology to all the other wizards who've
worked on BatMUD during the years .. programming is hard, designing good
interfaces is hard and we have a long history and lots of "legacy" code.

And not everyone who were implementing these things back in the day had
10+ years of programming experience when they started, or the foresight
to know what the requirements of future would be. I know that. I've made
many mistakes myself. Nobody is perfect. And while I may seem a bit dickish
when I rant about these things, I do it out of frustration, wishing
that these things were better .. and I do try to make things better myself.
BatMUD being better is my goal. Better for players, better for us wizards.

There are many other things I feel like I should address, but this blog
entry is already very long, not sure if it is even going to fit into the
blog limits. Perhaps as a summary it should be said that BatMUD has played
(heh) a big role in my life for these 20 years, it has given me enjoyment
as a player and as a wizard, and people who I consider friends or at least
very good colleagues. I feel that I should mention Heidel, Darol, Durand
and Juggelo (rip) especially on the archwizardly side, not to forget
other wizards and archwizards - you are important. You make this thing
happen. And players .. there are so many I know and/or kinda know.
Go on playing, or at least idlechatting if nothing else. :P


So .. here we are, in the year 2024. In about a year from now on, BatMUD
itself will be 35 years old and there's going to be (barring any unforeseen
events) a big celebratory gala again. I don't know if I'll attend, probably
not - but I do hope things go well in any case and that many old and new
players will attend. You'll be more likely to meet me on some smaller con,
most likely Kepucon, although nothing is set in stone.

Here's to a better Bat-future, and maybe the next 20 years, as unlikely
that may seem. See you on the same Bat-channel, on the same Bat-MUD.

Bunnifully Yours,
Ggr Pupunen