Hello? Hello, Dimitri? Listen, I cant hear too well, do you suppose you could
turn the music down just a little? Oh, thats much better. Yes. Fine, I can
hear you now, Dimitri. Clear and plain and coming through fine. Im coming
through fine too, eh? Good, then. Well then as you say were both coming
through fine. Good. Well its good that youre fine and Im fine. I agree with
you. Its great to be fine. laughs Now then Dimitri. You know how weve always
talked about the possibility of something going wrong with the bomb. The bomb,
Dimitri. The hydrogen bomb. Well now what happened is, one of our base
commanders, he had a sort of, well he went a little funny in the head. You
know. Just a little& funny. And uh, he went and did a silly thing. Well, Ill
tell you what he did, he ordered his planes& to attack your country. Well let
me finish, Dimitri. Let me finish, Dimitri. Well, listen, how do you think I
feel about it? Can you imagine how I feel about it, Dimitri? Why do you think
Im calling you? Just to say hello? Of course I like to speak to you. Of course
I like to say hello. Not now, but any time, Dimitri. Im just calling up to
tell you something terrible has happened. Its a friendly call. Of course its a
friendly call. Listen, if it wasnt friendly, & you probably wouldnt have even
got it. They will not reach their targets for at least another hour. I am& I
am positive, Dimitri. Listen, Ive been all over this with your ambassador. It
is not a trick. Well Ill tell you. Wed like to give your air staff a complete
run down on the targets, the flight plans, and the defensive systems of the
planes. Yes! I mean, if were unable to recall the planes, then Id say that,
uh, well, were just going to have to help you destroy them, Dimitri. I know
theyre our boys. Alright, well, listen& who should we call? Who should we
call, Dimitri? The people&? Sorry, you faded away there. The Peoples Central
Air Defense Headquarters. Where is that, Dimitri? I
n Omsk. Right. Yes. Oh, youll call them first, will you? Uh huh. Listen, do
you happen to have the phone number on you, Dimitri? What? I see, just ask for
Omsk Information. Im sorry too, Dimitri. Im very sorry. Alright! Youre sorrier
than I am! But I am sorry as well. I am as sorry as you are, Dimitri. Dont say
that you are more sorry than I am, because I am capable of being just as sorry
as you are. So were both sorry, alright? Alright.

 Dr. Strangelove: Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Loved the Bomb (1964),
screenplay by Stanley Kubrick & Terry Southern & Peter George, based on a book
by Peter George